Oops

I’m pregnant…

Surpriiiiise! Well, it sure as fuck was a surprise for us. In all honesty, we were not exactly being careful. You see the thing is, I have endometriosis and polycystic ovaries. Being told I would probably find it difficult to fall pregnant…pair that with all my reckless years with no pregnancies and my period going completely MIA for nearly 2 years (it came back last year) and the fact that nearly every woman on my support groups who have been trying to conceive have been struggling/going through IVF/etc.

And here I sit. Feeling like more of a lunatic than ever before. One minute I’m crying, then I just want to hug and snuggle and I literally snap at the slightest thing. This morning I am raging around the house because my partner is still lying in bed even after I told him nearly an hour ago that I am hungry and want to go to the shops for rusks…because right now that is all I want. I also cleaned the lounge, unpacked and repacked dishwasher because clearly I was the only one who was going to do it whilst the dishes piled up in the sink.  I cleaned up the mess in the lounge (dogs had massacred one of their stuffed toys) and wiped down all the counters and then he wanted tea earlier so I made some and left it in the kitchen. It’s still sitting there.

And this is probably all a tad irrational because he has actually been amazing and he normally helps clean up and runs me hot bubble baths so when I get home from work I just climb in with my book whilst he makes supper. And he’s handled this pregnancy thing really well…I mean, I’m actually surprised. Neither of us want kids right now, in fact we were busy getting paperwork together in order to go overseas December/January time and start working and travelling. Well now…didn’t this just put a spanner in the works. Last night he drove me around at 10pm just to find a 24 hour store that sold rusks, hahaha! You hear about this stuff but you never realize how true it actually is until you feel sick but hungry and the only thing that will fix it is the one food you do not have in the house.

Ok now I’m tearing. Oh my jaysus. And on top of all of this I guess I’m still in denial…I mean, we have some pretty important decisions to make. I don’t know what to do. Financially this is NOT okay. I can barely feed myself this month. I suppose emotionally and physically, at 28, this is not a crisis for me but my partner is quite a bit younger…like 7 years younger. Yeah, oops. First step is to call my gynae tomorrow. Think this will be as much of a shock to her as it was to me. After 2 positive pee sticks I need to find out what to do next…I obviously need to either go for a blood test or scan or whatever it is they do to confirm.

Guess I’ll keep this updated now. I have a feeling I will be processing a lot over the next few days. And I WISH I WOULD STOP TEARING UP OMG. AAAHHHHHHHH…how the hell am I going to get through these hormones…

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “Oops

  1. Welcome to pregnancy! I am 16 weeks now (I am also 28 yrs old)…difference is I planned to get pregnant. It was a shock for ME to see those 2 lines…let alone you! That must have been so difficult!! Try not to overthink at this stage and just go with the flow until you confirm with blood tests etc at the drs. Your hormones will balance out a bit as you get further in. Mine balanced out around 9-10 weeks as the placenta starts taking over hormone production. I am still more emotional than usual, but better when I do my meditation 🙂

    • Hi 🙂 thank you for the comment. I think I’m still in shock, lol. I have an ultrasound and consultation booked for this weekend and will take it from there. I just keep reminding myself, one day at a time.
      Congrats on your pregnancy 😀

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s