The declining health of a damsel in distress…
And I have not been the damsel in distress for years. Even in my three year relationship I took care of myself. Today is rough. My heart is pounding every time I stand up, or actually even sitting up for too long leaves me exhausted. I’m a bit dizzy. I’ve got pain snaking through my lower back, ovaries, abdomen, neck. I’ve had the shakes all day. I feel like my body just wants to collapse into a fleshy puddle because holding it’s human form is just too much effort right now.
Why am I so sick again?? I’m trying to rest. Today I’ve been lying on a bed watching series and only got up to make food or tea or go to the bathroom. Oh and have a Skype interview for a cool overseas job. But this scares the living daylights out of me…what if I can’t do this job? Do I have to disclose my chronic illness?? If it pans out I’ll be flying halfway across the world to Switzerland… hopefully with my partner, because we want to travel together. But other than that I won’t have my doctors nearby, or my immediate family, or my friends. Mostly I can just soldier on but this flare up is lasting two weeks which is a lot longer than usual. Last time I was like this was before my laparoscopy.
So I’m getting fed up and a little nervous as to why I’m so sick again. And I just have no energy to do anything right now. I’m definitely seeing my naturopath next week and getting to the bottom of this.