Okay so my earlier post was actually supposed to be about my health and it ended up in an angry break up rant. Funny how those emotions just sneak up on you, lol.

So through all this turmoil I’ve been sick as well. Probably as a result of the ongoing emotional stress. It’s been getting slowly worse. I’m taking part in an 8 week health challenge with amazing prizes up for grabs and so far I’ve just hit half way and three of those weeks have been a near write off. Last week I couldn’t train at all. I ate healthy and clean but all the exercise I could do out of my normal routine was one yoga class and I struggled through half a session with my personal trainer before calling it quits. I spent the rest of the week pretty much in bed. Nausea kicked in on Thursday night and for the next 3 days I lived off anti nausea pills and sleep. Saturday night I visited a friend and we watched movies and had a braai (barbecue). Also, weirdly, I was just craving red meat. I stopped eating red meat about 10 years ago and it’s incredibly rare for me to want it. On Saturday night I had a piece of sausage and some ribs and a bit of braaibroodjie. I didn’t even touch the salad.

After an entire weekend of bed rest I felt a teeny bit better on Monday and went ahead with my training session. My personal trainer did a relatively gentle session with me and although I started getting the shakes and muscle burn quite quickly, I pushed through. Then this morning I woke up with my entire back and neck in spasms. I know the normal post training ache and this is totally different. My whole body aches and pains.

So for the past week it’s been general all day dizziness with the occasional dizzy spell where I actually have to sit down. It’s weird, I get this buzzing sound in my head. Yesterday my neuropathy was ALL over the place to the point where walking on the carpet gave me goosebumps, in a bad way, and I could only wear really soft and loose clothing. Loud noises have been making my head spin a bit too. I am utterly exhausted ALL THE TIME. I slept until 12pm on Sunday and I generally cannot sleep past 9am. Even going to bed at 3am I’d still be up around 8am or so. My newest piercing has gotten a bit swollen. I developed a bit of thrush. My period was only  2 days and 1 day of spotting. And as someone who has endo, that’s weird too. Endo pain was pretty bad on day one as well. I’ve developed a ton of bruises on my leg that are taking forever to heal. The glands in my neck are tender…
I literally feel like I am falling apart. And it’s making me super depressed because I just want to get up and go but I’m so tired that sitting in a chair and trying to pay attention to anything is an effort.

I had my iron and blood pressure checked at the end of January, BP was sitting at 98/60 and HB was at 11. Today I finally managed to get myself out of bed and down to the nurse again. She said there was no point in checking iron again but did check my BP, which, after a healthy breakfast, was sitting at 95/67. I also had a Traumeel shot for the muscle spasm pain in my back. I’ve also just finished a course of 3 neurobion injections. The nurse is as baffled as I am.

I just want to cry really. But I have been getting up every morning and doing 30 minutes of gentle stretching and mindful yoga, I make a healthy breakfast and then I sit in bed and work on my laptop until I need to start my au pair job. I go to au pairing and then straight home and rest and sleep. Tonight I am going to try my yoga class again. Luckily my mum is the instructor and it’s all about listening to your body. So if I spend the whole class in child’s pose there won’t be a problem, lol.

On Thursday I’m leaving for a holiday and to visit family for 9 days. I’m hoping that the rest will help and I’ll come back feeling better. If not…it’s back to the hospitals and doctors and tests. I’m obviously hoping for the former rather than the latter.



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