Aaaand I’m Back

So funny how I put my foot in it. “I’m all okay, yay look at me!” and then lo and behold I have started a relationship vibe with another sociopath/abuser/drug addict. Anyway thank god that only took me a week to get rid of. Well, I say that but he still messaged me to say I must stop hacking into his Facebook. Apparently Facebook told him I was trying to hack his account…firstly FB doesn’t tell you WHO is hacking. Secondly do I seriously seem like I have nothing better to do with my life than try get into his FB? LOL. I couldn’t have given two shits about him or his stupid FB account. Then he messages me today to say he needs to speak to me because I wasn’t honest with him. So I say he can message me whatever it is. But he keeps insisting it must be in person. Now I may have been attracted to him and I may have fallen for the bullshit in the beginning but as soon as he started the manipulation and abuse I was very very much aware of what was going on. I am also aware that this is how these sociopaths try and draw you in again. Eventually he calls me and apparently I gave him an STD.

Note: I was upfront about the HSV (thanks coke addict ex boyfriend) and I know I don’t have anything else. So first he says chlamydia. Then suddenly changes his tune and it’s oh he saw a bump. Dude….he would KNOW if he had herpes for heavens sake, the first flare up is like a little trip to herpes hell. He couldn’t tell me what symptoms he was having. Kept insisting (still) that we should meet in person. Then after going around in circles of him trying to get me to do his bidding, I said, “get a test and let me know, I have to go.” So he messages me again (after ‘running out of call time’ by the way) saying he doesn’t know who I am anymore, I’m this sadistic bitch who came to ruin his life and blah blah blah…all I read was “I’m trying so hard to manipulate you, why isn’t it working.” So I blocked him. Gosh. It was like 2 months of sex and adventures. I started falling for this illusion he had created and such is life.  Get over it. And I sound like a bitch because I have been there. I have walked down that road and I am hard as fuck towards it now. No sympathy for people who are like that.

In other parts of life, my health has given out again. Been creeping up on me and last week I was sick with a stomach thing. Then woke up 4am this morning and stomach is stuffed again. But I recognize this, it’s very IBS and low immune system and inflammation. So back onto Ensure I go. Stocked up on my antispasmodics, probiotics, painkillers (because endo pain is niggling me and my period is due soon) and vitamins. I literally cannot eat without being in agony. I’ve put on weight again so am fighting off Ana..although she’s gleeful about this flareup. It’s okay though. I know how to get back on track and I know I will now have to eat very clean, simple food until my system is stronger. I also have been trying to train again for the last two weeks but keep hitting resistance from tired body so have to skip a lot of the days. Missed yoga tonight 😦 And my run on Wednesday morning.

I am also studying nutrition at the moment and have finally started on my math’s studying again. Slowly getting things done again 🙂

Ok, it’s way passed my bedtime now. Just needed a little rant again.

Night night x

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