Yesterday I had my pre-op appointment. I had no idea what to expect, especially with it being a government hospital, so I packed my breakfast, lunch and a book…good thing I did because I was there from 7am until just after 2pm!
I was taken into a room and had to run through my medical history, again. It gets really tedious at this point, I cannot even remember how many times I have had to do this. Then I had blood pressure taken, finger prick bloods, gynae exam including pap smear. Now lets just stop there for a second. Gynae exams are no fun on a normal day, but having endo…I nearly shot through the roof. I cried. I felt like such a baby but it was so utterly painful that I started crying. It was like having a hundred needles jabbed up my vagina…sorry for the image. But that is the only way I can describe it. After the exam I had pain running right around my pelvis into my lower back; this horrible deep ache. I’m sure you fellow endo sufferers will know the pain. I then had to sign consent forms for the lap; basically stating that I understand the risks of them nicking a blood vessel or a tube or having to convert to a laparotomy etc. I discussed what would happen if they needed to resection or remove anything and they said, if, for example, a tube is blocked it isn’t working anyway and so it would be best to remove it anyway. Makes sense, just doesn’t make it any easier to wrap my head around. However the doctor did say she didn’t think it would be a problem in my case as she thinks my ovaries and such will be okay.
After that I was sent down for a chest x-ray because I am a smoker. Waited an hour there. Then back up to the gynae ward. Then waited another hour. By this point I was so tired (having been up since 5am) and just wanted to curl up and sleep. Eventually the doctors come out and I am told that they want me to go for a transvaginal ultrasound. So off we plod to the ooother side of the hospital into maternity block because that’s where the best ultrasound machine is. There I endured more things being shoved up my vajayjay and finally it was all over.
The outcome was:
My uterus is tilted. I have cysts all over both ovaries and they are a bit bigger than the last scan I had at the beginning of the year. My one ovary looks like it is attached to my uterus. I will be admitted on Sunday morning and will meet my anaesthetist and probably find out who my surgeon will be. Monday morning I will have blood tests to confirm diagnoses of PCOS. I don’t fit the normal profile for it but they think I have it. So we’ll see. Then I will go in for my op late morning/lunchtime if all goes well will the patient before me (apparently she is a bad case and if there are complications then it might be longer). I will then spend Monday night under observation and if all is good, I will be sent home on Tuesday.
As for my feelings on all of this…
I can’t believe how quickly the 6 month wait has gone. I’m nervous, scared, excited, happy, nervous, scared…
A big part of me is happy because they actually picked up some stuff on the ultrasound and I no longer feel like it is all in my head. The pain is real and the doctors are finally believing that it is endo. Getting answers is all I have wanted for years. The fear and nerves are because this is my first operation, I have no idea if I will wake up with a big cut across my pelvis or something removed or how much pain I will be in, etc. And the silliest part of it all is the emetophobia kicking in. I think I am more scared of throwing up when I come round from the anaesthesia than I am of the actual pain! Irrational fears are irrational for a reason, lol. I am definitely going to make sure they put some anti nausea in my drip!!
So now I plod along for the next 4 days (omg only 4 days!!) and then hopefully I will have answers and a proper diagnosis so that doctors can stop looking at me like I just escaped a mental institution…or they can stop trying to prescribe me anti depressants and telling me I’m a hypochondriac. Sheesh.