Welcome to My Head

What is stress? Why is my heart thumping so hard in my chest all the time. Is that stress? Damn generalized anxiety. It’s totes different. I should be studying. I wish my bloody x-kit books would arrive already. I have no idea what I’m doing do. Besides, what is chemistry even? I have a headache. Oops, I think I drooled on my maths book. Wish I would stop shaking like a leaf. How am I going to fit 3 years of science and a year of maths in until next year June. What if I fail my exams? What the heck made me do this. No. I CAN do this. I am passionate about it. Oh gawd, my website is still not up and running. Crap, I need to sort that out. What have I done with the articles and pictures. I need to match up the links. Fuck. Such a pain that it crashed. Of course it crashed. Nothing is ever smooth sailing. Just one thing after another. Let’s add on to her stress, yes, good idea. Thanks Universe for the extra work. Need to organize Munchkin’s life for her horse show on Saturday; heck and need to be up early take her to school tomorrow. What did I do with the list of stuff we need for show…Wow but I’m tired. Bed at 2am…how many hours is that…5? I should be studying. But I’m so tired. Wish I could just put on series and snooze until work. But I have to study. I have to get my website going again before I lose all my traffic. Why am I even doing this website? But I love sharing knowledge. I want to share with others what I learn. But do I have the time? Talking about time, why has my broker not replied to me, I need to get on medical aid. Can I even afford Virgin Active? Or medical aid for that matter. Why is my body being weird this morning? My spine is buzzing again, this is annoying. Maybe I should get that checked out. It tingles into my skull. How is that normal. Jeez, hypochondriac much. Why did yoga plough pose hurt? Is that related? Am I doing it right? What if this neuropathy is something that will get worse? Actually, it’s probably just anxiety that makes it worse. Sleeeeeeeppppp. Argh I hope I don’t need to replace my car battery. More money. Wonder how much my lap op will set me back. I’ve hardly been able to save for uni. All this stress and what if I can’t even go because I don’t have the money? Money would make everything so much easier. I could hire a personal trainer. Oh yes, I need to find a CBT therapist in my area. Wonder if my psychologist has emailed me back yet. And then I must study. Hope I make it through today. And would my stomach stop feeling sick already. Jeez. Actually I feel a bit hungry. I just ate! How many calories was in that smoothie I just had anyway? Should I even be having smoothies if I’m trying to lose weight. Over 300 calories! Argh I’m such a failing anorexic. I’m eating so much. Put on another kg. When will this stop. Feel so fat. I like my new hair cut though. I need to sleep. But I need to study. When will I have time to get my website back up. I need to check my emails. I’m never going to have time to learn guitar. It’s been 2 weeks already. Why can I never get anything done. Gosh my time management sucks. I suck at time management. I shouldn’t even be on here but I can’t focus.

Welcome to my head…everyday. all day. it just runs and runs and runs. no wonder I’m exhausted. I wish it would stop! Seriously considering medication of some sort. I am utterly done right now.

reak. My head hurts. My body hurts.

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