Parenting

image

Something I wish my father had learned. Instead it’s taken me on a life long journey of never believing I’m good enough and being terrified of making mistakes. When you are yelled at and told the devil lives inside you or called stupid or have holes kicked in your bedroom door because you’ve cried after being smacked or laughed too much…it’s hard to ever believe you’re okay as a human being. He’s apologised in my adult years but that never changes the scars left on a young child’s psyche. Perhaps that’s why I hold myself to such impossibly high standards. It probably also plays a roll in my restrictive eating and control issues. It definitely influenced my dating life, always choosing men who abused me/cheated/lied, or all the above. How was I to believe I deserved better when my own father taught me to hate myself…

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s