Great read. Guilt is something I battle every day and it really gets me down. because I haven’t had my lap yet, a lot of people close to me still think I’m being a drama queen or lazy or spiteful, which couldn’t be further from the truth! and so I sit with the guilt of being such a terrible person because people do things for me and I often cannot reciprocate. For instance, my boyfriend has been utterly amazing lately and I wanted to show my appreciation by cooking a lovely surprise meal with candles and dress up all pretty again (I rarely do that anymore)…but of course I didn’t have the energy. So he took me to get takeout and I passed out in bed by 9:30pm. Yesterday he was very obviously keen for some sexy playtime but I was sore and tired and really not even remotely turned on..not by any fault of his! It was just me. Again.
I didn’t mean to write so much but obviously it’s bugging me more than I realised. I’m unsure how to deal with the guilt really. It eats away at me every day.
There is no reason why ill people should feel guilty. There is no reason why endometriosis sufferers should feel guilty but they do. Do you? I know I do.
The incurable disease’s had precious little press and even I, the sufferer, don’t feel like I have a grip on what’s been happening to me. This pervasive confusion surrounding the condition’s had a serious impact on my coping mechanism and my resilience.
It’s not that, endometriosis, as a condition, is trifle: I’ve been in pain for nearly a year now, its intensity regularly exceeding six on a scale of one to 10; my sleep’s frequently disrupted as I’m tossing in bed, succumbing to the cruel inevitability of the warm, dull pain spreading across my pelvis and legs all the way down to my toes, occasionally across my shoulders and arms, interspersed with sharp twisted knife-stubbing like pain and don’t even mention…
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