Pain

argh pain. I hurt in more places than I knew was possible.

Since taking the Nuva Ring out on Monday the pain has increased. Every joint aches, I get sharp pains shooting through my pelvis, my lower back and right down my legs. I’ve lost my appetite. Nausea and reflux are haunting me. I’m exhausted and dizzy and slow. I don’t want sympathy…I just want to curl up in a nest until my lap surgery.

I still don’t have any sign of getting a period either. If I don’t get it now, after melodene, after provera, after nuva ring…I don’t know 😦 I feel like I can kiss any dreams of having children goodbye. I’m heart-sore. Body-sore.

Hanging in there. Just wish I had a boyfriend who could step up and be the man I need him to be right now. It hurts so much that he switches off when I say I’m in pain. Or that I’ve withdrawn into myself and instead of reaching out I am practically ignored. I hardly hear from him, or see him. I’m lucky if I get a good night message. It’s probably silly but I want someone who can step up in times like these. Not baby me but just step up and show that I am loved, that he cares, that he thinks of me. It’s not that he is a bad person. He has so much potential. But how many times have I found myself dating someone’s potential instead of the actual person. I’m not sure what to do. I know I have withdrawn into my shell so I can’t make any decisions right now…but it’s not looking good. I just wish I could shake him and make him grow and become the man I see inside. I wish I could find out why he is so afraid of the world. Why falling down scares the shit out of him. It’s the only way to grow in life and if you don’t, you get left behind. I don’t want to leave him behind but I grab life by the horns and he well…he hibernates in his safe cave. AAGGHHH it’s SO frustrating!! To deal with this when I really shouldn’t have to.

Anyway. I’ll keep plodding along in the mean time. I don’t normally plod along so I’ll allow myself this time to just hover around and get through each day hour by hour.

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2 thoughts on “Pain

  1. I know how you feel! I keep reading posts about women and their supportive boyfriends or husbands and im like…. Why cant i find a supportive one. And like you said, i dont want someone to baby me, just support me and ask how im doing, watch tv with me. Dont just turn away. Im not one to give relationship advice but supportive guys exsist… I see them meantioned in posts all the time.
    Best wishes ❤

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