Day 8…or Day 1 Round 2

Yes, the weekend was a write off. I have very good self control at home and then I go to my boyfriend’s on the weekend and I become a slobbering twit who’s goals fly out the window. I ate cake and chips and a slice of pizza. Oh and even snuck in a chocolate milk! Definitely not items on the elimination diet list *sigh*

I did have my smoothie on Saturday morning and for Sunday breakfast made a banana ice-cream thingamajig which was amaaaazing! And which my boyfriend actually ate too! But yes, Saturday was the start of this derailing because we went to a barbecue and even though I’d taken my zucchini chips (which were more chews than crisps..will need to attempt them again) and blueberrries with, I still ended up nibbling the processed packet chips from the table. Especially as my beloved boyfriend took forever to actually put our kebabs on the fire and by the time he actually got around to it he was mildly drunk so they ended up undercooked and I only ended up having supper around 11pm. Which meant I was nearly keeling over with hunger and dizziness…and horribly grumpy because of said lack of food (the digestive enzymes I take actually make me feel normal hunger!).

Obviously, along with meal times being all over the place this means I wasn’t taking my supplements as I should and, for someone with as many order and control issues as I have, I am surprised that I often let the weekends derail my regimes like this. I spoke to my boyfriend last night and asked for some support for the coming weekends so that I don’t fall off the bandwagon every single time. He managed to give up caffeine and sugar for a week by the way. Was quite proud of him actually; although now he can go back to normal life and I must continue on my journey alone, as I often do. I already saw him pack in sour gob-stoppers for breakfast! Lol, oh the life of men. He’ll hit 30 though and suddenly have to change all that. He’s already got a bit of a belly. I think I get nit-picky and nasty sometimes because I wish I could eat whatever I want and it makes me angry to see him living off sugary juice, coffee and sweets..and bacon, whilst I have to go through this. And it’s only my ego saying that because my heart knows I don’t really want to fill my body with such rubbish. Plus the voice of Ana, which seems to be fading into the background again, does pop up when I eat rubbish or nibble too much. She’s not a raging lunatic like she was, but she whispers quietly still. Either learning about correct nutrition has made me able to focus more on health and getting better than listening to the voice of guilt, or I’m just jumping into orthorexia (bless the life of EDNOS) and am fooled into thinking I’m okay. Either way, it’s working for now so forward march I say!

Anyway, basically today is back to square one. I feel foggy brained and fatigued again but the weekend was amazing. I know I overdid it, as I do but it was just SO awesome to have energy and to be able to get out of bed for more than 2 or 3 hours! I went fabric shopping and saw some friends and swam and went to the birthday barbecue and made yummy food and even got started studying maths! I got to enjoy the sun and dress all pretty and feel alive. It seems this naturopath may know what she’s doing after all, which is great considering I didn’t have any expectations after the 2 years of searching for some kind of cure or healing just to be let down again and again and again. I don’t care what ‘science’ says…’normal’ medical doctors do not know much at all beyond the medication they are told to prescribe. It’s ridiculous and I am so glad I have found something that is giving me hope. Hope that soon I will be back to my energetic, silly self!

I’ve decided I need to share some recipes and ‘clean’ eating type meal plans so you have an idea of what I am doing. I am by no means legally qualified to put together meal plans by the way; what I have done is all very personal and is from hours and hours and HOURS of my own research and also the foods I enjoy. So please, use your head and stay healthy; everyone’s body is different ❤

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