Today has been odd in terms of feeling totally irritated and not knowing why.
It started yesterday morning. I was tired after a Halloween party the night before (got to bed at 2am) and felt hungover even though I don’t drink. I had to get ready for college and tried on nearly every possible outfit but nothing felt right: leggings were too tight, jeans to big and material was scratchy, floaty top sat funny, vest showed bloated tummy, colours didn’t match, and so on. Then I didn’t want to eat because I felt a bit queasy. Made a smoothie for college instead and promised myself I wouldn’t have coffee and biscuits like we normally do…but I did. And I had the smoothie. Plus couldn’t face cigarettes.
Got to my boyfriend’s house after college and ate some of a Lunch Bar chocolate then fell asleep. Woke up and had pizza. Watched series and finished chocolate. Studied a bit then slept like the dead.
Woke up this morning and just felt irritated. Everything annoyed me, I still felt tired and sick. Didn’t want breakfast but nibbled half a crunchie. Then had gelato in a cone around 1pm. Watched some documentary and fell asleep nearly straight away for about 2 hours. Woke up and had 2 slices of pizza around 3pm. Then had few bites of my unfinished gelato which is in the freezer around 5pm. Later nibbled at another slice of pizza.
Now feel nauseous, dizzy, body is sore and I just want to sleep again! Also still cannot face cigarettes. Feel odd empty feeling in stomach but too afraid to eat because I’ve had so much crap today and I’m afraid I’ll make myself sick. Maybe I’ll mix up a smoothie and sip it instead. Argh the anxiety! Maybe I’ll just sleep instead.