Read this somewhere (can’t remember where) and saved it in my phone because it really spoke to me:
“…also do know how badly your brain body etc need the nutrients. Despite my disorder I am actually very well educated about health.. I have spent my whole working career thus far working healthcare and pharmaceuticals and read anatomy books etc in my spare time. I like to be a well educated person. However, a disorder does not care what you know only what you feel.”
Although studying nutrition has been helping to some extent as I am able to choose foods that contain the best nutrients with the least amount of guilt. I am okay with eating avocado or double cream yoghurt or egg because I know my body will use it as opposed to eating crap. Plus I know that combining a protein and carb keep me fuller for longer and fuel my body with the right energy.
Perhaps it’s the feeling of empowerment that has come with this new knowledge that has helped…because I’ve always known my body needs food but I didn’t care. All food was the enemy. Now at least only some food is the enemy and I only eat when I am truly hungry…which isn’t that often actually.
I sometimes wonder if I’m still really bad at eating but don’t realise it anymore because for me it is so normal.
Yesterday I had:
Breakfast: 1tbsp double cream yoghurt with 4 strawberries and 1 rusk. Rooibos tea.
I had a homemade cranberry/sunflower seed crunchie after yoga with a cup of hot water.
Lunch: 1 vegetarian ‘chicken’ burger patty on slice toasted rye with some sliced Italian tomatoes, a bit of cheddar cheese and a tbsp lite mayo.
Supper: errr. Was busy so nibbled a tsp sugar/salt free peanut butter and a bite of a crunchie. Had a hot chocolate made with water.
Mostly I’ll eat berries and yoghurt for breakfast, rusk or fruit for snack, lunch is a slice rye toast with salad stuff and cheese or avo and an egg, and supper is veg with a protein.
And now I feel awful for looking at how bloody much I’m eating. Need to remind myself it is good for me. Lol at this ED brain.