I survived the festival! In fact I had a wonderful time except for the end of Saturday night when I ended up in an argument with my partner because he was being a tit.
I hula hooped, danced, chilled and connected with some great people, didn’t calorie count (although I did make a mad grab at entering what I remembered when I got home as post-festival guilt set in), I laughed, really let my inner child come out and play. I let go. That’s the biggest thing: I. Let. Go. I ignored aches and pains, popped Mitil if I felt sick and just carried on. A big help was definitely the amount of exercise…must have walked a fair distance over the 4 days as was on my feet nearly all the time, from the moment I woke up around 6am until I crashed at between 11pm-1am depending on the night. No scale where I am house sitting so can’t see 😦 Have decided to buy a scale. Bad choice? Probably. But I want one.
So all was great until late-ish on Saturday night when the main acts were playing. My partner had been a little drunk on the first night (Thursday) and I cannot remember Friday night for some odd reason (I am totally sober so must have disassociated). Anyway, Saturday night I asked if he could not get shit faced so that we could enjoy the main acts together. I don’t often ask him to tone it down but I really wanted to be able to connect with him and share the experience. So he gets drunk. At first I was ok with the slight tipsy-ness, the licking my face and grabbing my bum and just being playful and silly but after a while my body was killing me and I was getting a little fed up of being poked and prodded and licked…which I did tell him. He was talking loudly, over sharing information like his mum having cancer to complete strangers (whom I noticed looked a little uncomfortable). It all started because I wanted to sit down and he wasn’t listening to me. I wanted to sit on the grass and he insisted we sit on this uncomfortable white wall where a gazillion people were gathered. I told him I didn’t want to because there were lots of people but he ignored me so I just followed him. After slipping off the wall whilst trying to balance plus being surrounded by people I snapped and stormed off to go sit on my own on the grass. I just felt like the walls were closing in on me, too many people, too many drunk/high/whatever, and a body that felt like it might collapse in on me any minute.
He follows me and starts scolding me like I am a 6 year old child. How dare I storm off and there was no need for that behaviour etc etc. I got cross because he wasn’t listening to me and long story short it was then that I realised he was actually quite drunk and not making ANY sense. The more I said I wasn’t going to argue because he isn’t making sense and is drunk the more he tried to argue. I started crying with frustration and then he wanted to hug me and is pulling me over in an attempt to hug me when all I want to do is slap him through the face. I gave in and then he licked me. OMFG I lost it. I had JUST asked him to please stop it as it was getting too much and voila. Again he doesn’t listen. By this point I felt so disrespected and disregarded that I didn’t want to be anywhere near him.
He apologises and off we go back to the main stage. Everything was okay for a while and then he wanted to kiss me and stuck his tongue out as I kissed him back. Then he tried to stick his hands down my pants and grabbed my boob. And stuck a glow stick in my ear. Each time I say, “Please stop it. I don’t like it.” Each time he apologises profusely and then does it again. I was in such a bad mood. I wanted to cry again. eventually we just left and went back to the tent to sleep. I tried telling him sorry doesn’t mean a thing when he keeps doing it and I did communicate that I felt disrespected but it all fell on his deaf-drunk ears. And so ruined the last night of the festival. We left early Sunday morning and I was so sick that after a shower I pretty much slept or lay on the couch for the rest of the day. I was sore and nauseous and my lungs hurt and my nose was bleeding a bit from all the dust and smoke. Jeez, I make it sounds awful. It really was worth it. Worth being able to frolic in the sunshine and listen to good music and really reconnect with two of my close friends and my partner.
So after the hectic weekend my week has just been madness. I have this nutrition course I am now behind in, a gig to rehearse for this Friday, work to finish for tonight, catching up with my brother who is here on holiday before heading off on the yachts for who knows how long again, house sitting, organising a stall at a local market so I can sell the clothes I cleaned out of my closet, yoga. And my latest: researching a Dietetics degree because I have now decided that is what I want to do. Granted I will be 31 when I complete it, but I feel I need to do it. It nicely incorporates my obsessions with food, health, hygeine and helping people. What more could I want, haha.
Right, this is a long post about nothing really. Might post later…feeling a bit iffy today.
Unravelling The Knots 