When a Bug Becomes a Blessing

I think I have a bug. Woke up nauseous as heck so thought probably need to eat because hormones wrecking havoc since the weekend. But no, food was not the answer. Took anti nausea.

It’s times like this I realise how warped my mind is from my ED. I am slightly triumphant that I am sick as this means I actually go to the loo (a rare happening with IBS C and restrictive eating)and I don’t have to eat. I’ve been consuming around 1000 calories per day since Monday due to some seriously mad hormones. Even had hot flashes and the pelvic pain has been slowly getting worse. Not to mention if I don’t eat I was getting migraines and nausea.

Needless to say I have felt like a pig. I snuck on to the scale at work at record speeds and it showed I’ve put on a kg (about 2lbs) since last week. I’ve had urges to lose complete control and shove food in my face without even tasting it…but I didn’t.  I have been craving sugar and chocolate so every time I found a chocolate in my mouth or like I’d lost control a bit, I simply spit it out. It’s great to taste the chocolate but I refuse to swallow it. Unfortunately my head still believes I’ve eaten it so have to keep close eye on my calories so that I don’t feel so guilty.

Not that it helps because I was eating 1000 or so calories a day anyway. Today I’ve eaten 312 calories. Go you.

Anyway, am actually at work, let’s hope I can just get through these few hours without passing out or feeling too queasy. Then it’s back to bed and blissful sleep. Zzzzzzz


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