Again

It’s 2:30am and I’m sitting up feeling sick and sore yet again.

I went to a social gathering today, beautiful picnic and chill out by the most amazing dam, but the problem was the picnic. Sitting around, chatting, surrounded by snacks, means you naturally eat more. You chat and nibble. The complete opposite of mindful eating. I ate about 1300 calories today which included some chocolate, nacho chips with dip, peanut butter on rye, bite of a cinnamon pancake…not the healthiest stuff but nothing that should’ve triggered my stomach.

Yet lo and behold here I sit. Exhausted, nauseous, burning and cramping stomach. This. Is. Ridiculous.
Seriously, I give up. I am fed up of this useless piece of crap body. I am tired (literally)of sitting up nearly all night whenever I eat normally. I wonder how long I can not eat? I am boycotting food. My body wants to punish me? Fine, I’ll punish it back. It can feed off my goddamn fat and organs if it refuses to feed off of food. Stupid, useless piece of crap.

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