So here I am lying in bed, it’s 10:51pm and I have horrible stomach pains. I wasn’t totally hungry but was having a catch-up night with my mum and she insisted I eat more before I was allowed any tea. She said she wouldn’t have me filling up on tea and I’d hardly had two mouthfuls of supper. So I eventually picked up my bowl and had some more. After I felt I really couldn’t eat any more I gave up.
Then I started feeling sick. At first it was just the normal heavy, overfull feeling but eventually I was feeling really nauseous. So I took one of my anti-nausea tablets and after telling my mum that my stomach was not happy she did some calming breathing with me (she’s a yoga teacher). It helped a bit but then she went to bed and I had to walk around a bit to keep my mind of stomach, ended up picking at my skin, focussing on the scratching and crappy black heads I seem to have developed all over my face since I stopped my birth control pill. My skin has been breaking out ever since and my picking doesn’t help. Anyway, I also made a hot water bottle (just to aggravate the burn scars more) and eventually sat down to do some reading on endometriosis. I was told by another doctor today that she recommends getting the laparoscopy thing done. The last time I had a proper period was end of April/beginning of May. Thing is not getting my period means I’m really kind of pain free at the moment. I still get the odd twinge but it sure beats being doped up on Tramadol and paracetamol AND still feeling some pain! I was diagnosed with lots of little ovarian cysts a while back but gynae didn’t seem worried so neither am I.
I was in the ER the other day for extreme abdominal spasms and the doc there said it could be caused by endometriosis and perhaps not IBS. I just wanted hypospasmol and my bed but she seemed quite concerned, and surprised that I hadn’t followed up with my gynae after stopping the pill and not having a period for nearly 3 months. But I’ve seen doctors so often that I feel like I live in a medical ward and each one hasn’t seemed particularly bothered by the symptoms, so I’ve left it. If the doctors aren’t worried should I be? Okay, yeh, when I was rolling on the floor in tears and agony, sure. But now I don’t feel much of anything and if I go back and say, oh by the way I haven’t had a period since May they’ll say exactly the same thing I’ve been told over and over again: oh it’s pretty normal, lot’s of women don’t get their period/have irregular cycles.”
Thing is I never had a problem before 2012. Then after being shoved on so many lots of antibiotics for all my pelvic pain (think I mentioned this in my herpes post), the pain actually just got worse and by mid last year my cycle became so irregular that it ranged anywhere from 35 to 72 days. Oh and my god was sex painful. I didn’t want to be touched! I nearly went through the roof, and not in a good way,lol. In fact when I had my ultrasound done (the internal one) I was crying because it was so sore.
Argh I feel like such a hypochondriac if I go have a lap done. Surely it’s a bit drastic? And I can tell you now, from previous experience, that they probably won’t find anything. My mind has created so many physical symptoms over the years that whenever I am sick now I ask, “okay, what is the psychological cause of this?”
Oh well, we’ll see. I might email my gynae tomorrow and see what she says. My biggest concern here is that I would like to have a child one day and things aren’t looking promising if my reproductive organs have just packed up. Sigh. Wouldn’t that be the cherry on the goddamn cake.