Larger Girls and Bikini’s

I found this article rather amusing and actually had a good laugh. It was really well written and I suppose seeing a plus size girl with the confidence to go out in a bikini is a good thing.

Well good for her. I would never dare. Even at my weight I still wouldn’t. The burns marks on my stomach and thighs, the fat rolls: you can be skinny and still be fat. At least I’ve started exercising now, which I’m hoping will help me feel better and tone me up. I suppose one positive is that Ana helps to get me off my ass. I’ve got a 20 day program of simple jumping jacks, crunches and lunches…hahahahaha! No, not lunches, lunges (best typo ever). I am sitting eating lunch right now so I suppose my mind is focussed on lunches.

Today lunch is 2 thin slices rye, one with a tsp low fat smooth cottage cheese, the other with a tsp marmalade; and a few Fry’s vegetarian ‘chicken’ strips. After forcing myself to eat more on Thursday (as I felt so rubbish) my stomach wants more food and I hate it. yesterday I was okay, only 746 calories. But I actually feel that awful gnawing hunger today. Luckily I still fill up quickly. Hunger scares the bejesus out of me! I feel like I want to put on a pair of running shoes and sprint and never stop. In reality I’d probably only get one block and keel over, sad really. I like feeling empty. Isn’t  that a loaded statement.

Instead I am sitting in bed with the TV on, my boyfriend has come to stay at the house with me for the weekend and I’m enjoying the company. Even if it just means having someone lying next to me watching movies, or both working on our laptops. I feel a bit more safe and less anxious. Tomorrow I am hosting a little BBQ here. Will keep me busy making salads and such instead of thinking about food and eating out of boredom.



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